Here is an exchange that I had with a fellow pastor about a church sign he posted on facebook.

Me: Unfortunately it seems over 50% of Americans think it does. Just drive around any town and see how many people are not attending church on Sunday morning.

Him: According to research done by The Barna Group it's over 80% in the Northeast.We can all speculate as to why that is but what we know for sure is that "it" needs to change...what is "it"? Perhaps it's our definition of what worship is!

Me: I believe if the church preaches and models Jesus people will be awakened. No need for gimmicks, just being real and loving people where they are and walk them as they are drawn to Jesus.

Him: "being real and loving people where they are and walk with them as they are drawn to Jesus."

Sounds simple Larry, perhaps that should be the new definition of worship. Who knows,by stepping out of our comfort zone WE may even have a personal encounter with Jesus ourselves! Matthew 25:40

Matthew 25:40 (The Message)  37-40"Then those 'sheep' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?' Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.'

Me: When we do that we point people to Jesus instead of our idea of what being a Christian is. I am bound to fail but Jesus never will.

I believe we are two pastors who are more concerned about the hurts, wounds and brokenness of people than how big our churches are. I believe he would agree that gimmicks draw less people to Christ than sharing the model of Christ with people. Simply put, "Jesus always met people where they were not where He wanted them to be." 

Him: "That's right, it's more about acts of the holy Spirit than it is mere words. When
we do that we bring Jesus to them!

Mark 13:21 And then if any man shall say to you, Lo, here is Christ; or, lo, he is
there; believe him not:

Luke 17:21
Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is
within you.

John 20:21
Then said Jesus to them again, Peace be unto you: as my Father hath sent me, even so
send I you."

It is true Jesus wants us to flea from sin but He knows that first we must be alert to what sin is. It seems that many Christians and pastors want to hit a person with a two by four as they point out their sin. Most of the time Jesus used a two by four on the church leaders not the sinners. Maybe we should follow the same model. Heal their wounds and hurts then walk with them as they move toward Jesus and away from their sin. That might be harder to do than using the two by four but it will create disciples not just people who come to church for their hell insurance.

To become a follower of Jesus you do not have to conform to a list of standards set by man but you do have to be transformed into an image of Jesus. Too often people are told you must give up smoking, drinking, be this way or that before being accepted into the congregation. Yes, smoking is bad for you, getting drunk is wrong and there are standards to be met. BUT what did Jesus say one needed to do to be saved? 

Salvation is simply a process of confessing and believing. A man must confess that Jesus is Lord, which signifies his realization that Christ must have full rule over his life with all of His righteous requirements. This confession of Christ as Lord also assumes that it is Christ who will work and fulfill His own righteousness within man. 

Next, he must believe that God has raised Jesus Christ from the dead. This belief in the death and resurrection of Jesus carries with it the realization that the penalty has been paid for sin and power is provided for man to live a life free from sin. Thus man’s relationship to God is restored. “For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved. As the Bible tells us, “For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved” (Romans 10:9-11). Do you feel unworthy to “go to heaven”? Peace with God is within your reach.

Let us know your thoughts. I will share them with him.

What Many Men Are Looking For

Tonight the group of men I have been meeting with for the past three years met at Foster's Grille located at 11831 Metcalf Avenue in Overland Park, KS. We ate some good food and had a cold beverage. We then talked about our lives, our hopes and our fears. Then we prayed for each other and as we left there where hand shakes and hugs.

It was interesting to watch the reaction of the some of the customers as they watched these strong men bow their heads and pray together. It was even more interesting to watch their reaction as we bid each other farewell.

As I sat there listening to the men share it occurred to me that there are hundreds of men who wish they had transparent and strong friendships with other men. Friendships not based on status, sex or power. It also struck me how these friendships we have are very similar to what Jesus and the disciples had.

If you are a man looking for friendships with other men without the hang-ups of today's society but do not know where to turn please consider leaving a comment. I will help you find a group of men that you can trust and build strong relationships with.

Trip to Arkansas

Last week my wife, Kat, and I spent five days in the hills of Arkansas. 

Our first couple of days we spent at the Petit Jean State Park, which was the first State Park in Arkansas. We spent our nights in a cabin with a fire place and it was very comfortable.

We spent our first day hiking two trails. Cedar Creek Falls Trail begins at the Mather Lodge and goes down to Cedar Falls. It winds down the hillside then through the woods to the creek and ends at Cedar Falls.

The other Cedar Creek Trail is a trail that flows through the woods and above the creek and makes a loop back to the parking lot.

We ended our day with a simple dinner at the Lodge and watched the sun set.

The next day we hiked the Seven Hollows Trail. This loop trail passes through a series of small canyons under the canopy of a dense hardwood forest.

We left Petit Jean and headed north to Buffalo National River and spent two nights in a rustic cabin with a fireplace. As we ate our first meal in the cabin we talked about how we could live in a small cabin like what we were in.

I think this photo sums up our trip and where our marriage stands after 24 years.

We had a wonderful time away from televisions, the news and the cares of life. I encourage all of you to take a vacation or holiday and just get away from all of the stress in your life.

I know for me I did not want to return to the daily grind but in order to do another trip like this one I have to.

Next year if God is willing we celebrate our 25th anniversary and we hope to either go to Grenada or hike the Grand Canyon.

24 Years and Looking Forward

My wife, Kat, and I are heading off to Arkansas on vacation tomorrow. We are going to spend a couple of nights in a cabin at Petit Jean State Park  

and a couple of nights in a cabin at the Buffalo National River

While in these areas we plan to hike and visit flea markets. On Thursday we will celebrate our 24th wedding anniversary. 

Because we both have had multiple marriages many told us they were doubtful we could survive being married. Why have we been able to make it to 24 years without our marriage failing like the others? Good question and I have only two reasons to share with you.

1. From the day we got married until now we have been committed to staying together and working through all of the tough situations we would face.

2. From the day we got married we invited Jesus to be a part of our marriage and by doing so allowed the Holy Spirit to mold our marriage.

We have had tough times but we have always fought to stay together.

Here are a couple of scriptures for you to consider just as we have:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (The Message) 

3-7 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love. 

Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it  doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head, Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, Doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.

8-10 Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

Ephesians 5:  21 Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another. 

22-24 Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. 

25-28 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor—since they're already "one" in marriage. 

29-33 No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That's how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become "one flesh." This is a huge mystery, and I don't pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.

These two scriptures helped us make it to celebrating 24 years of marriage. Simply put we have chosen to love each other more than ourselves and we have submitted ourselves to Jesus and to each other.

As a pastor here is the sermon I give at each wedding I perform:

MARRIAGE
In Genesis 1: 26-28 God spoke: "Let us make human beings in our image, make them reflecting our nature So they can be responsible for the fish in the sea, the birds in the air, the cattle, And, yes, Earth itself, and every animal that moves on the face of Earth." God created human beings; he created them godlike, Reflecting God's nature. He created them male and female. God blessed them: "Prosper! Reproduce! Fill the Earth! Take charge! Be responsible for fish in the sea and birds in the air, for every living thing that moves on the face of Earth." 

29-30 Then God said, "I've given you every sort of seed-bearing plant on Earth And every kind of fruit-bearing tree, given them to you for food. To all animals and all birds, everything that moves and breathes, I give whatever grows out of the ground for food." And there it was.

31 God looked over everything he had made; it was so good, so very good! 
It was evening, it was morning— Day Six. 
We find in Genesis 2: 21-22 GOD put the Man into a deep sleep. As he slept he removed one of his ribs and replaced it with flesh. GOD then used the rib that he had taken from the Man to make Woman and presented her to the Man.
23-25 The Man said, "Finally! Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh!
Name her Woman for she was made from Man."  
Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh. The two of them, the Man and his Wife, were naked, but they felt no shame. 

Woman was made from man’s rib and she is not to walk behind or in front but beside him. The institution of marriage was created and began by our Creator the Almighty God. In marriage _____and _____ you go from being two individuals with separate lives to being one unit with dreams together.

David A. Seamands said this about marriage: “Marriage is an adventure, not an achievement.”

LOVE
Paul describes love in 1 Corinthians 13: 3-7 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love. 
Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head, Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, Doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.  8-10 Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled. 

Love is not a feeling and people do not fall in love. Instead love is something we do and we grow in love. _____ and _____ you can show your love by living your life with the qualities mentioned above.
Here is something Martin Luther had to say about marriage: “_____ make _____ glad to come home and _____ make _____ sorry to see you leave.”

RESPOSIBILITIES
Ephesians 5: 33 No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That's how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become "one flesh." This is a huge mystery, and I don't pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband by respecting him.

1 Corinthians 7: 2-6 Certainly—but only within a certain context. It's good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it's for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I'm not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them.

Robert Browning tells us how to have a successful marriage: “Success in marriage is more than finding the right person, it is being the right person.” _____ and _____ you have the opportunity to daily be the right person.
_____ you are to love your wife and _____ you are to respect your husband. Neither of you have the right to withhold from the other sexual pleasure, love or respect.  

Please face each other and hold hands. When you say the following vows you are pledging to each other your commitment, devotion, love and respect.

Repeat after me:
I, _____, take you _____, to be my wedded wife. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness. With this ring I thee wed.

I, _____, take you _____, to be my wedded husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to honor and to love 'till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness. With this ring I thee wed.

I encourage you to invite one other person to be a part of your marriage and that is Jesus through the Holy Spirit. The bumps in the road will be smoother if you do.

Through the powers invested in me by the state and church I pronounce you husband and wife. 

I hope you find this post as an encouragement and that those of you who have had failed marriages find hope in what you have read.

Kat and I are now looking past this year and to celebrating 25 years next year and then if possible 30, 40 and 50 years of marriage.