Why Men Hate Church

I have a friend who shared a book with me written by David Murrow called "Why Men Hate Going to Church" which you can purchase at your local Christian book store or online at ChristianBook.com or Amazon.com.  With this post I am going to challenge every pastor who is reading it and probably upset some women who read it but if the body of Christ is going to reach men it is time to take the steps listed in this book.

I believe every pastor who wants to grow their church needs to read this book.  Let's look at some stats: Less than 40% of adults in most churches are men, and 20 to 25% of married churchgoing women attend without their husbands. In many churches most men who do go to church are bored and non-engaged.  Most leadership positions in most churches are occupied by women and the church is geared toward women, children and the elderly.  Here is a website for more information on stats about men and church:  Church for Men.  

Many churches have programs that focus on the youth and that is good but studies show that if a youth leads a family to church about 15% of families follow.  There are many churches with great women's ministry programs and that is good also but studies show that when a woman leads the family to church about 30% of families follow.  Few churches have good solid men's ministries and even fewer have services that appeal to men but studies show if a man leads the family to church over 95% follow.  If these studies are true than I think it is a no brainer that leaders should be focusing on having good children's, women's ministries and working hard to develop a solid men's ministry.

The important thing to remember as you develop a men's ministry is to make it manly not a whimpy girly thing.  Don't focus on having a monthly or quarterly breakfast without including some manly activities.  More importantly deliver sermons that are hard hitting and speak the truth.  Develop ministries that will equip the men for leadership and then provide the men with opportunties to work.

Now you pastors have a choice to make.  You can stick with your whimpy church services with your pews or chairs mostly occupied by women or you can take the steps to develop a manly service which will draw men and as they come their families will be by their side.

Get the book and read it before you make any changes.  Check out the information provided and use what best meets your church but don't stick with what you are doing unless you have at least 50% of your chairs filled with men.   

REAL Men RoCK is the result of a manly man challenging me to become a godly man.  I encourage you to take the risk and make a few changes that will attract men and then a few more as your comfort level grows.  I believe you will be surprised as your male population grows and your leadership changes in reflection of those changes.

Pastors you cannot continue to do the work by yourself unless you are satisfied with watching more men drive by your church than driving into the parking lot.  Remember you may have to talk with Jesus about why men did not make that turn.

I welcome your comments.

Are you stuck in your comfort zone?

This is a question God is asking me.  

You see I attend a church called the Vineyard and I have received a great deal of healing there.  I began attending the Vineyard in 1999 and I was a beat-up leader looking for a place to hide.  Instead I found a church that believes being a follower of Jesus means you "Do the Stuff" that Jesus did.  A church that believes in seeking healing for our physical, emotional and spiritual wounds.  A church that empowers people to use their spiritual gifts for service of others.  A safe and encouraging church. 

In 2006 I graduated from Vineyard Leadership Institute and was ordained in the Association of Vineyard Churches, USA. I have been waiting for God to show me a clear vision of what He wants me to do with my training, my spiritual gifts and my ordination.  I have become very comfortable with attending the Vineyard in Overland Park, KS and all of the opportunities it has brought me to serve.

I moved to a small town called Louisburg, KS in 2004 and have come to love our small community and I am looking for ways to serve here.  Soon after moving here I ran into a young man, Erik Kingsley, who pastors the New Life Family Church.  It seems that over the past five years God kept creating opportunities for Erik and me to bump into each other.  We have had great talks about how to reach the those who do not attend church in the Louisburg area. 

Yesterday, we had one of those vision setting sessions and Erik challenged me to consider changing where I attend church.  I told him I would think and pray about it.  As I drove off I prayed for God to show me through my wife, Kat, what He wanted.  I felt pretty sure that the answer would be to stay at the Vineyard and continue to wait for doors to open there.  I knew this because Kat loves the Vineyard and would not want to move.  I was comfortable in knowing that. 

After our men's group last night I went home and shared with Kat the discussion I had with Erik. Without hesitation she said, "I would have no problem going to church here in Louisburg as long as it was at the New Life Family Church.  OOPS!  Now my comfort zone was not only being shaken but turned upside down.  

Do you find yourself comfortable where you are?  I am not asking about being comfortable with what church you attend and I am not encouraging you to change where you attend church.

My questions to you are:

"Have you found the pew or chair you sit in each Sunday so comfortable you never do anything else but sit each Sunday, listen to the sermon and never move outside of the walls of your church to serve others?"

"Do you find the group you run with more comfortable than seeking those who need a friend?"

"Are you more comfortable staying where you are than maybe hearing what God wants you to do and doing it?"

These are the questions God is asking me and with this post I believe He is now asking you.  I encourage you to get your butt off the chair, dust off your talents and spiritual gifts and go out and get your hands dirty with the lives of those in need.  

I believe that God has a blessing waiting just beyond our comfort zone. Get up and move beyond your comfort zone and find that blessing.