Love, Respect and Marriage

This evening I met with a young couple who are planning to get married in the near future. When I counsel couples about marriage I talk about three areas: 1. Where did the institution of marriage come from, 2. What is Love and 3. What are the Responsibilities of a husband and wife.

I point out that in Genesis 1 and 2 we find out that it is God instituted marriage. I stress how Eve was created from the rib of Adam and that is an example of where a woman's place is. She is to be at his side not behind or in front of him.

I then talk about Love. I use 1 Corinthians 13 to point some qualities of love:
Love never gives up
Love cares more for others than self
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have
Love does not strut
Love puts up with anything
Love always looks for the best in others
Love never looks back
I explain that Love is not a feeling but an action.

I talk about the importance of sex in marriage and that once married a man's body does not belong to him but to his wife and that a wife's body is not her's any more but her husband's.

Finally, I describe the responsibilities of a husband and wife. I use Ephesians 5: 33 to point out that a man is to love his wife and the woman is to respect her husband. Showing love is somewhat foreign to a man and showing respect is not understood by a woman. If you watch two women who do not know each other enter a bathroom at the same time you will most likely see them come out talking as if they knew each other. If you observe two men go into a bathroom and followed them in you would see that they respect the space of the other. Men understand respect and women completely understand love. Love is natural for a woman to express and respect is easy for a man to understand. So God is asking a man and woman to do something totally unnatural for them to do but what is necessary for a great marriage.

I usually share the following three sayings by three famous people.

David A. Seamands said this about marriage: “Marriage is an adventure, not an achievement.”

Here is something Martin Luther had to say about marriage: “Woman make your man glad to come home and man make your woman sorry to see you leave.”

Robert Browning tells us how to have a successful marriage: “Success in marriage is more than finding the right person, it is being the right person.”

I believe that if couples would remember the following three things they can have a good marriage: 1. marriage was instituted by God, 2. In 1 Corinthians 13 He showed what love is and 3. He explained in Ephesians 5 what the responsibilities of a wife and husband are.

I hope that what I have shared encourages you in your relationship with your spouse or future spouse.

If you are struggling in your relationship with your spouse here are some suggested books to read:
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman from ChristianBook.com
Love Talk by Drs. Les & Leslie Parrot from ChristianBook.com
Intimacy by Dr. Douglas Weiss from Amazon.com
Man of Steel and Velvet by Aubrey Andlin from Amazon.com

How may I pray for you?