Priorities

With this post I am going to challenge married men to examine their work, recreational and married life.  I believe these three areas should have goals and priorities assigned to them.  

In 2 Thessalonians 2 we are told that we need to work: 2 Thessalonians 3: 10-13 Don't you remember the rule we had when we lived with you? "If you don't work, you don't eat." And now we're getting reports that a bunch of lazy good-for-nothings are taking advantage of you. This must not be tolerated. We command them to get to work immediately—no excuses, no arguments—and earn their own keep. Friends, don't slack off in doing your duty.

In 3 John we are told to be prosperous and in good heal: 3 John 1-4 The Pastor, to my good friend Gaius: How truly I love you! We're the best of friends, and I pray for good fortune in everything you do, and for your good health—that your everyday affairs prosper, as well as your soul! I was most happy when some friends arrived and brought the news that you persist in following the way of Truth. Nothing could make me happier than getting reports that my children continue diligently in the way of Truth!

In Ephesians 5: 33 we are told to love our wife: Ephesians 5: 33 And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.

For us men the big challenge is how do we keep these in balance and in the right priority.  Men tend to identify themselves in the work that they do.  Sometimes they find their importance in the amount of money they make or the power they have.  Because of the stresses of life men tend to seek release of that stress in their recreational activities.  They end up spending more time and energy at work and in recreation than they do in lving their wife.

I believe as a man I should be involved in working, spend time in recreation and to love my wife. 

Here are three questions for you to ask yourself:

How many hours per week do I spend at work and volunteer activities?

How many hours per week do I spend in recreation?

How many hours per week do I spend working on my relationship with my wife?

In a given week we have 168 hours to use.  Subtracting the hours per week we spend sleeping, taking a shower, and eating, we have about 98 hours to use on the things that are important to us.

I am going to use myself as an example and I know that you could be similar.

I spend 40 hours working and donate about 15 hours per week in church related activities.

I spend about 5 hours riding my mountain bike.

That leaves me about 30 hours I could be using to focus on my wife.  When I look at what I do with the rest of the time I come to realize I spend more time working and donating my time than I do focusing on the most important priotity in my physical life.

As a man I know that I can get caught in the trap of seeing my position so important I will not release some of the duties to others so that I can focus time on my wife.  I know of pastors who have destroyed their marriage in order to grow their church.  I have watched them spend qualtiy time with their congregation and spend little time building their relationship with their wife and family.

This post is just as important for me as it is for the one who reads it and is spending more time working and having fun than he is spending at home building his relationship with his wife.  The church and our jobs are important but our marriage trumps both.  

Men the bottom line is if we are not building our marriage we are failing as followers of Christ.  If you tell me that you are a pastor and it is your job to spend time building the church I would agree but state that building your relationship with your wife is more important.  The example you set will be repeated through the church and so if you ignore your wife and family by spending more quality time with the church than you do them you will have a church full of men who will have failing marriages.

I confess today that I have and that I am guilty of not spending the quality time I should in building my relationship with my wife.  My number one priority is to build my relationship with God and one of the biggest parts of that task is to build my relationship with my wife.  Jesus uses the marriage relationship to show us the relationship we will have with Him.  

The question is: If you are guilty of not spending time with your wife what are you going to do about it?  

The good news is you and I can make the changes necessary to build a strong marriage, perform in an excellent way at our work and enjoy good recreation and do so in a way that pleases God.  

Join me in making some changes over the next 30 days and let's come back and  share the results.