Betrayal - Two Lessons

Pastor Erik Kingsley of New Life Church in Louisburg, KS gave a series of messages on "Betrayal" and in the final sermon he shared his own experience of being betrayed.  I came away with a couple of thoughts that I would like to share today.  I hope you will be stirred to take action to either approach the one who betrayed you or approach the one you have betrayed.

First I was stirred to write in my notes "Don't Wait! Do it Now!!"  In Matthew 18: 15-17 "If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you've made a friend. If he won't listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won't listen, tell the church. If he won't listen to the church, you'll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God's forgiving love. 

 18-20 "Take this most seriously: A yes on earth is yes in heaven; a no on earth is no in heaven. What you say to one another is eternal. I mean this. When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I'll be there."

If we have been betrayed by someone we can either choose to let it simmer and burn us or we can do the spiritually mature things and go to that person and sit down with them and explain how they have hurt us.  I will be the first to admit I sometimes just let things simmer until I am burned by a desire for revenge.  I know the root of why I do this and it grows from the times people I have gone to do not hear what I am saying and turn what I am sharing around on me.  I walk away feeling even more hurt and new wounds are ripped in my heart.  My fear keeps me from doing the spiritually mature thing and risk speaking the truth in love.  We need to use the Holy Spirit to overcome our fear and go to the one who has hurt us and be honest and share with love our hurt.

 

My final word on this part of the post is be willing to walk away content that you have done what the Lord wants you to do even if they do not listen.  Once you have shared leave your hurt and do not allow the other person to add to it if they do not listen.  If the one you are sharing with is a Christian and they do not listen to you then you have the obligation to share the matter with the church.

 

My other thought can be summed up in "Betrayal leads to lack of trust".  When someone betrays us we are less willing to trust someone else with our dreams and into our lives.  I will use an example from my own life.  When I was 18 years old and on my way to Vietnam I had to stop at an Air Force base for an overnight stay.  A Sergeant invited me to go into town with him and I was glad to hang with him.  He ended up betraying me by sexually molesting me.  That event caused me to not trust men and I did not overcome that until I was in my forties when the Holy Spirit showed me that there were men I could trust. 

 

If you have been betrayed by someone I encourage you to risk sharing with them how they made you feel but do so willing to leave your wound behind even if they do not listen to you.  If you cannot go to the person do not let your feelings simmer and turn into bitterness (which is sin) but go before Jesus and lay it at His feet.  Once you lay it down, get up and walk away leaving it there.

 

If you have been betrayed and are having a hard time trysting other people then I encourage you to go before God and ask Him to give you the Grace to overcome the wounds that keep you from trusting others.  If you stay in your lack of trust you will never grow in your spiritual life or your ministry.  I found that I could not minister when I did not trust others.  

I also found that I could minister if I knew of incidents where I had betrayed someone and had not repented of it.  In Matthew 5: 23-24 we are told by Jesus "If therefore you are presenting your offering at the alter, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the alter, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering."

 

If you have a story about "Betrayal" please share it.  Lay it down before God here by writing it out and then hitting the Publish Your Comment button.  Then turn in your chair and walk away from it knowing God will give you the Grace to heal your wounds.  

 

God desires for you to be healed of all of your wounds but you have to trust Him with them.