Its Not About Us!

   Several years ago I went through some training in Theophostic Ministry. Theo which means God and Phos which means light is a divinely powerful and thoroughly biblical approach in ministry. Emotionally hurting people from all walks of life, with all manner of emotional woundedness have experienced accelerated healing as truth replaces lies, freeing them from life long emotional pain. 

   What I like about this ministry is the fact that it relies entirely on the Holy Spirit revealing the lies that caused the woundedness and revealing the truth that replaces the lie thus leading to healing of the wound.

   To be honest I only went through the beginning training of this ministry and used the technique only once but with amazing results. With this post I want to share that experience. One day I received a call from a friend who had a friend who they knew was wounded and controlled by something from the past. I called the person (Art - not his real name) and arranged to meet with them. I also called a friend of mine (Zach - not his real name) who I was going through the Vineyard Leadership Institute classes with. Zach had hot gone through the training but I needed someone to take notes during the session which we would give to Art and also to witness whatever took place.

   The evening of the session I dropped by Zach's house and on the drive over to the house we were going to meet in I filled him in on what to expect. When we walked into the house and met Art we were sort of taken back because he was wheelchair bounded, bent over and barely looked at us. Zach had met Art before at the place Art worked but I had not met Art although I had seen him from a distance once or twice.

   The following is how the session went.

   The three of us sat facing each other. I began by telling Art that this would be a simple session and that I expected that the Holy Spirit would reveal truth and begin the process of healing.

   My first question was: "Art what brings us together this evening?" "Why are we here?"

Art responded that he wanted to find out why he seemed angry most of the time.

   My next question was: "Are you willing to turn over to God whatever we discover and let Him carry it?" Art answered hesitantly, yes.

   I explained to Art that what we would do three things: 1. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the source of his anger, 2. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal truth and 3. Ask the Holy Spirit to begin healing the wound.

   Then I asked Art and Zach to bow their heads as I prayed. My prayer went something like this: "Father, we come before you to ask you to reveal to Art the root of his anger. In Jesus name amen" I then just let Art hear from the Holy Spirit and after about five minutes Art asked if he could speak and I said yes. He bent his head to one side looking at us and said he knew exactly when he first got angry and what the source of his anger is. He then shared that with us.

   After he was done I asked him if he was willing to give that day over to God and forgive the person who caused him the wound? He answered yes.

   I asked him to bow his head and I said this prayer, "Father, we asked you to take this off of Art's shoulders and reveal to him the truth. In Jesus name amen."

   I again sat there silently letting the Holy Spirit speak to Art. This time the answer came almost immediately. Art began to weap and Zach and I were stunned as he straightened up in his wheelchair and looked us straight in the eyes and told us that the Holy Spirit revealed how much the Father loves him just as he is.

   Except for some passing comments that was our session. Today Art is still bound to a wheelchair but he sits up straighter and looks people in the eyes. He still gets angry at times but not like he use to and he has found purpose in the life that he has.

   Here is what I learned from this event:

   1. Bringing healing into another's life is not about me, it is about the Holy Spirit being involved          in their life.

   2. I do not reveal truth to others, the Holy Spirit does.

   3. We do not have to live by the lies that others have planted in our lives and if we are willing to        turn them over to God He will remove them from us.

   Are you being held captive by lies others have told you?

   Are you wounded from the events in your life?

   Would you like to be set free and have those lies replaced with the truth?

   If so the Holy Spirit is waiting to get involved with you and replace those lies with the truth and heal your wounds. Here is the good news: "It is not about you or some specialist working it out." It is all about God. He reveals the source of your woundedness, He reveals truth to you and He brings the healing. 

   God often uses another person in this process but He is not required to do that. The reason He uses other people is for relationships to be built. Although He already knows your wound the beginning of the process is to share it with Him. He will then either lead you to the person He wants you to build a relationship with or He will begin the process of healing. 

   It is all about God not us! 

So You Have Been Hurt!

I saw the following comment at 43things.com

I work at a restaurant as a server. I deal with people all the time and even in class. I have grown to not take stupid remarks personally and that NO ONE has any right to label you or make you feel any way that you don't want to. Be tough and be yourself. Take everything with a grain of salt.

Sometimes people will rub us wrong and wounds caused by other people will get opened and we will react to their remarks, or their actions, or their lack of respect. This happened to me recently and I have to admit I sometimes operate out the wounds of my life. When I react instead of responding I always end up embarrassed and humbled.

I have a book in my library titled: "Get Out of Your Own Way" by Mark Goulston, M.D., and Philip Goldberg. In Chapter 21 "Taking Things Too Personal" they state this: "Failing to consider the other person's true intentions is a good way to ruin a relationship. Instead of reflecting and responding appropriately, you merely react, either retaliating or becoming defensive, sullen or petulant. Such reactions not only obscure the legitimate reasons for your concern but poison the other person's response to your legitimate grievances. And, when you realize what you've done, you end up feeling ashamed in the bargain."

Here are their recommendations:

* When someone does something to upset you, ask yourself if you did anything to justify his or her actions.

* If you did, it is better to own up to it early. Offer an apology and promise to try to do better next time.

* If you didn't do anything to justify the behavior, ask yourself if the other person in this way with others too. If so, don't take it personally.

*You have three choices: find a way to be more accepting; cut your losses and end the relationship; make your feelings known and hope the offensive behavior stops.

*Remember, not taking things personally does not mean turning the other cheek. It means shooting from the head rather than the hip.

Two scriptures that we should consider concerning offenses.

Matthew 5: 23-24 This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.

Matthew 18: 15-17 If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you've made a friend. If he won't listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won't listen, tell the church. If he won't listen to the church, you'll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God's forgiving love.

I encourage you to respond and not react to the actions of others. They may be acting out of their woundedness and do not realize how they are treating you in the process. 

Watch Your Heart

In my earlier writings I wrote about my mom leaving when I was about 3 years old, I wrote about the negative impact two teachers had on me and I wrote about being molested by a homosexual. Those were real events that left negative scars on my life. But I do not have to allow them to control my life and make me who I am.

With this post I want to begin to share the men and women who have had a postive impact on my life. Sometimes we allow the negative experiences we have had control us. Most of us, if we are honest, allow the wounds of our lives control us or we allow the actions of others to reopen our scars. Instead of calling on the Holy Spirit to heal the reopening of these wounds we allow the pains of the past to impact our lives again and we react in defense.

I want to share some positive things that happened in my early life that I believe should overshadow the negative. After my mom left my dad, Charles, still had to travel because of his job but now he took us with him. He and his two brothers owned Clark Construction Company which mainly laid water and sewer lines. I remember dad would take me to the construction sites with him and the men who worked for him would rub my head and in a loving way tease me. These men were strong, rough, firm but comapssionate men. These memories are postive and are the ones I should be pulling from instead of the ones that created wounds in my life.

Proverbs 4: 23 Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that's where life starts.

Our reaction or response to negative or preceived negative events in our lives begins in our heart. The negative and positive events of our life reside in our heart and we either choose to react from the negative or respond from the positive. When faced with negative actions of others I can either choose to allow the old wounds to be reopened or I can choose to call upon the Holy Spirit to protect my wounds. If I allow old wounds to be reopened I will react in a negative way to the person but if I allow the Holy Spirit to protect the wounds I will respond to the person with grace.

I encourage you to check your heart today for wounds that have not been healed and that still control how you are impacted by the actions of others. If you discover a wound share it with someone and seek the healing that only God can provide.

Betrayal - Two Lessons

Pastor Erik Kingsley of New Life Church in Louisburg, KS gave a series of messages on "Betrayal" and in the final sermon he shared his own experience of being betrayed.  I came away with a couple of thoughts that I would like to share today.  I hope you will be stirred to take action to either approach the one who betrayed you or approach the one you have betrayed.

First I was stirred to write in my notes "Don't Wait! Do it Now!!"  In Matthew 18: 15-17 "If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you've made a friend. If he won't listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won't listen, tell the church. If he won't listen to the church, you'll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God's forgiving love. 

 18-20 "Take this most seriously: A yes on earth is yes in heaven; a no on earth is no in heaven. What you say to one another is eternal. I mean this. When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I'll be there."

If we have been betrayed by someone we can either choose to let it simmer and burn us or we can do the spiritually mature things and go to that person and sit down with them and explain how they have hurt us.  I will be the first to admit I sometimes just let things simmer until I am burned by a desire for revenge.  I know the root of why I do this and it grows from the times people I have gone to do not hear what I am saying and turn what I am sharing around on me.  I walk away feeling even more hurt and new wounds are ripped in my heart.  My fear keeps me from doing the spiritually mature thing and risk speaking the truth in love.  We need to use the Holy Spirit to overcome our fear and go to the one who has hurt us and be honest and share with love our hurt.

 

My final word on this part of the post is be willing to walk away content that you have done what the Lord wants you to do even if they do not listen.  Once you have shared leave your hurt and do not allow the other person to add to it if they do not listen.  If the one you are sharing with is a Christian and they do not listen to you then you have the obligation to share the matter with the church.

 

My other thought can be summed up in "Betrayal leads to lack of trust".  When someone betrays us we are less willing to trust someone else with our dreams and into our lives.  I will use an example from my own life.  When I was 18 years old and on my way to Vietnam I had to stop at an Air Force base for an overnight stay.  A Sergeant invited me to go into town with him and I was glad to hang with him.  He ended up betraying me by sexually molesting me.  That event caused me to not trust men and I did not overcome that until I was in my forties when the Holy Spirit showed me that there were men I could trust. 

 

If you have been betrayed by someone I encourage you to risk sharing with them how they made you feel but do so willing to leave your wound behind even if they do not listen to you.  If you cannot go to the person do not let your feelings simmer and turn into bitterness (which is sin) but go before Jesus and lay it at His feet.  Once you lay it down, get up and walk away leaving it there.

 

If you have been betrayed and are having a hard time trysting other people then I encourage you to go before God and ask Him to give you the Grace to overcome the wounds that keep you from trusting others.  If you stay in your lack of trust you will never grow in your spiritual life or your ministry.  I found that I could not minister when I did not trust others.  

I also found that I could minister if I knew of incidents where I had betrayed someone and had not repented of it.  In Matthew 5: 23-24 we are told by Jesus "If therefore you are presenting your offering at the alter, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the alter, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering."

 

If you have a story about "Betrayal" please share it.  Lay it down before God here by writing it out and then hitting the Publish Your Comment button.  Then turn in your chair and walk away from it knowing God will give you the Grace to heal your wounds.  

 

God desires for you to be healed of all of your wounds but you have to trust Him with them.

5 challenges from God

I went to a church dedication the other day and several pastors from other churches spoke. Although all spoke of unity and welcomed the new church one in particular, Pastor John Wiley of
River Christian Fellowship, caught my attention.

He spoke of five things he felt God was calling the church to focus on in his community:

1. Pray for an out-pouring of God’s Holy Spirit in an unprecedented in the community.
2. Pray that the people of the community would see Jesus as He really is.
3. Pray that the people of the community would be healed of any wounds the church
has caused.
4. Pray for and guide the church to wake up to the needs of the community.
5. Pray for and guide the church to see God’s plan for the community.

I believe these five areas are things the church should focus on in every community. The world is moaning for an out pouring of God's Spirit. Most of the world has a wrong image of who Jesus is. The church has wounded many in the name of Jesus. The church often gets so involved in it's own needs that it can't see the needs of the people around them. The church often does not know what the plan God has for the community it lives in.

I want to encourage you to pray about the above five things and see how God moves you to make a difference in your community.

Throw Rocks

Rising nearly 1,500 feet above the jungle below, Hill 488 was just 25 miles west of Chu Lai, Vietnam, and it was the perfect place for a Marine Corps recon team but for just a couple of factors...it was deep in enemy controlled territory and surrounded by massive enemy buildups.

It was June 12, 1966 and S/Sgt. Howard, 15 Marines and 2 Navy Corpsmen were let out on the top of Hill 488. Their job was to call in artillery and air strikes against the enemy below. For two days Howard and his men did their jobs well. The North Vietnamese control of the area was disrupted by the effectiveness of the American firepower. It did not take long for the enemy to figure out that there had to be someone in the area watching them. directing the fire upon their every move. By the 3rd day the enemy began to send 200-250 well trained and armed soldiers up Hill 488 and it was too late for Howard and his men to escape. Somehow they would have to survive the coming assault.

Everyone in the patrol knew it was coming. S/Sgt Howard placed his men in strategic positions around the summit of the almost barren hilltop, with orders to pull back into a tight perimeter the moment the enemy struck. That is just what the Marines did.

The enemy swarmed the hill amid gunfire, grenades, mortars and support from .50 caliber machine guns. Back-to-back Howard's men began to defend their small area of 20 yards, counting on each other to work as a team to do the impossible.

S/Sgt Howard moved among his men, encouraging them, directing their fire, shoring up the weaknesses in the perimeter. For most of the Marines it was their first major test of combat. Huddled in the darkness amid the crash of grenades and mortars, the sky filled with tracer rounds, and outnumbered more than 10 to 1; the leadership and inspiration of S/Sgt Howard was all that sustained the men.

Suddenly quiet engulfed the hill as the enemy pulled back, their fanatical human wave assault initially repulsed. S/Sgt Howard looked around him. Every one of his young Marines and both Corpsmen had been wounded in the initial attack and several were dead. Worse, he knew the enemy would return in force again at any moment. He also knew no rescue could take place until dawn.

From down below the enemy began to taunt the few survivors shouting into the darkness, "Marines, You die in an hour." Over and over the North Vietnamese yelled, "You die in an hour."

One of Howard's men asked, "Can we yell back at them?"

With nothing to lose Howard told his brave young men, "Sure yell anything you like." They did, and soon their taunts back to the enemy were met with gunfire. The enemy was preparing to swarm the hill again. The beleaguered Marines caught the enemy off guard as they joined in a "horse laugh"' The enemy suddenly stopped shooting and there was stoned silence. They could not understand how a group of men terribly outnumbered could be laughing.

S/Sgt Howard knew the silence would not last long. He surveyed what remained of his Marines and found that ammunition was running low. The grenades were gone, expended during the first wave of the assault. So he issued one of the most unusual combat orders in Marine history...

"Throw rocks!!"

As incredible as the order sounded, it worked. When the enemy soldiers began to push their way through the sparse brush and knee high grass to probe the perimeter, Howard's men threw rocks at them. Mistaking the rocks for grenades the enemy soldiers would move quickly out into the open, allowing the defenders clear shots that made every round of remaining ammunition count.

The Marines held the hill for another 5 hours and were finally rescued shortly after day break. After the 12 surviving men were safely back at Chu Lai it was discovered that among them they only had 8 rounds of ammunition remaining.

Isn't this like our personal lives? Aren't there times when you feel like all you have to defend yourself is some pebbles? Aren't there times you feel completely surrounded by the enemy?

Here are three lessons I got out of the story of S/Sgt Howard and his men.

1. Know your enemy.
In Ephesians 6: 10-12 we are told that God is strong and He wants us to be strong. We are encouraged to take everything the Master has given us. That our fight is not against people made of flesh and blood, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world. Against those mighty powers of darkness who rule this world, and against wicked spirits in the heavenly realms.

S/Sgt Howard and his men knew their enemy and their tactics and we need to study our enemy and know the tactics he will use against us.

The good news about our fight against these mighty powers is found in Job 1. Their power against us is limited by what God allows them to do. In James 4: 7 we are told to submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee you.

2. Know our equipment.
Ephesians 6: 14-17 Stand your ground, putting on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that you will be fully prepared. In every battle you will need faith as your shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed at you by Satan. Put on salvation as your helmet.

S/Sgt Howard and his men knew their weapons and that is an example for us to get to know and use our weapons.

3. Know who has your back.
Ephesians 6: 18 In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.

S/Sgt Howard knew that if they watched each other's back they were more likely to survive the battle and that is an example for us. If we cover each others back Satan will less likely be able to pull off an effective attack. Of course our ultimate back watcher is the Holy Spirit and we need to call upon Him when faced with overwhelming odds.

Today someone reading this is facing a giant or enemy that appears larger than Goliath. It could be cancer, unemployment, even a sin or it may be a giant so small you can't see it like discouragement, wrongs thoughts, wounds. Whatever you or a friend are facing your S/Sgt, God, wants to lead you through the battle and His Holy Spirit wants to guard your back.

If you are facing a giant and you feel like the only thing you can do is throw rocks, leave a message so that we can pray for and with you.

My 18th year

My senior year in High School was very eventful. For the first time in my efforts at playing football I made the starting line-up. I was one of the smallest guys on our team but I played like I was much bigger. At the end of the football season my team mates choose me as one of the captains of our team.

I would have made the starting team in basketball too except I let my girlfriend talk me out of playing. She did not like the other girls cheering for me. My nickname was Co-Co, short for Clark bar, and she did not like hearing the girls cheering Co-Co or me running up into the cheerleaders area. Not that I always did that on purpose but I have to admit it was quite fun to do.

Later in the spring I did play on our golf team and we went to the state tournament and if I remember right Tom Watson of Kansas City played in that tourney. We did not place but we had lots of fun.

I was still shy but I was one of the most popular guys in our school. It seemed almost everyone knew who Larry Clark or Co-Co was. As a side note I went to my 40th school reunion and was voted the most changed person in our class. No one could put there finger on why I won that award but I believe it is because I was no longer that shy backward person they knew back then.

One spring evening my girlfriend and I were out on a date and we were laying under a tree in the park. As usual we started kissing and kind of getting out of control when I stopped and told her that I wanted to stop being sexually involved. I talked of how she could get pregnant and how that would ruin all of her plans for college and that I would leaving for the Navy soon. She started crying and asked if I still loved her. To make the story short we had sex and that night she got pregnant. That failure on my part to stand firm as a man changed our lives. She did not go to college until years later and I left soon after we got married for the Navy and Vietnam.

The next thing that year that affected my life and who I would become happened on my way to Vietnam. I had to spend one night at an Air Force base in California before I left for the Philippians. An Air Force Sargent offered to show me the town. Once in town he rented a Motel room and told me he needed to shower before we went to a local bar. After showering he sexually molested me.

I would let this one event keep me from having male friends until I broke free from that fear at age 41 and found healing for the wounds caused by it at age 52.

Guys we all have wounds resulting from others taking advantage of us or hurting us. It helps me to talk about my wounds and I encourage you to share yours here. I have the comment section set-up so you can be Anonymous. If I can help in anyway please contact me privately.