Welcome to REAL Men RoCK

This blog is about the issues men face and things I have experienced.

I hope you will be encouraged, challenged, and stirred to take action.

Proverbs 27:17 (The Message)

17 You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another


ighteous   E ncouraging   A ccountable   L oving 


ely on    C hrist's   K indness

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Why Men Hate Church

I have a friend who shared a book with me written by David Murrow called "Why Men Hate Going to Church" which you can purchase at your local Christian book store or online at ChristianBook.com or Amazon.com.  With this post I am going to challenge every pastor who is reading it and probably upset some women who read it but if the body of Christ is going to reach men it is time to take the steps listed in this book.

I believe every pastor who wants to grow their church needs to read this book.  Let's look at some stats: Less than 40% of adults in most churches are men, and 20 to 25% of married churchgoing women attend without their husbands. In many churches most men who do go to church are bored and non-engaged.  Most leadership positions in most churches are occupied by women and the church is geared toward women, children and the elderly.  Here is a website for more information on stats about men and church:  Church for Men.  

Many churches have programs that focus on the youth and that is good but studies show that if a youth leads a family to church about 15% of families follow.  There are many churches with great women's ministry programs and that is good also but studies show that when a woman leads the family to church about 30% of families follow.  Few churches have good solid men's ministries and even fewer have services that appeal to men but studies show if a man leads the family to church over 95% follow.  If these studies are true than I think it is a no brainer that leaders should be focusing on having good children's, women's ministries and working hard to develop a solid men's ministry.

The important thing to remember as you develop a men's ministry is to make it manly not a whimpy girly thing.  Don't focus on having a monthly or quarterly breakfast without including some manly activities.  More importantly deliver sermons that are hard hitting and speak the truth.  Develop ministries that will equip the men for leadership and then provide the men with opportunties to work.

Now you pastors have a choice to make.  You can stick with your whimpy church services with your pews or chairs mostly occupied by women or you can take the steps to develop a manly service which will draw men and as they come their families will be by their side.

Get the book and read it before you make any changes.  Check out the information provided and use what best meets your church but don't stick with what you are doing unless you have at least 50% of your chairs filled with men.   

REAL Men RoCK is the result of a manly man challenging me to become a godly man.  I encourage you to take the risk and make a few changes that will attract men and then a few more as your comfort level grows.  I believe you will be surprised as your male population grows and your leadership changes in reflection of those changes.

Pastors you cannot continue to do the work by yourself unless you are satisfied with watching more men drive by your church than driving into the parking lot.  Remember you may have to talk with Jesus about why men did not make that turn.

I welcome your comments.


Anonymous said...

Larry, good one!


Anonymous said...

I left a Vineyard church because it was just so girly! I then read the David's book and felt justified. Men were outnumbered 2:1 and the pastor took great pride in wearing pink! Worse than that there were no teenagers between 15-19; those who came soon left. So not only gender challenged but teenager bereft too.

Errol Kimble said...

You're my hero! When I grow up, I wanna be like you! For the longest, I did not serve in church, because I was too aggressive or brash. I invaded people's space and was too loud. Then, one day, somebody told me that I was fearfully and wonderfully made for God's purposes, not the church's. I have been struggling to find that God every since that day.

Bless you for telling it like it is!

Journeyman said...

I don't hate "church" - how can you hate what Jesus died for and put so much value on (though I must admit "church" has always been a tad boring to me.) I continue to attend, not because I love to be bored and not that I value it personally, but because I want to set a good example for my wife and kids. Yet, frankly, it's getting more and more difficult convincing myself that it really makes all that much difference in the life of my family. It is heartening to know that I'm not alone in this struggle for some sort of connectedness in the local body that is the church and that others seem to recognize the issue in a vast majority of men's walk with the Lord.

Larry Clark said...

I want to encourage all men who are struggling with enjoying church. The reason for this post is to try to identify why men do not enjoy church and stir in pastors the desire to change what does not attract men. Men need to be men and to be stirred to take action. They want to love of the Lord and do so in a manly way.

The stats show that if you reach a man you reach the family. Shouldn't churches be trying to draw men so that the families follow?

Quit trying to control men by taking away their manhood. Free them to experience the movement of the Holy Spirit as the disciples did.