Don’t Settle for Less

The man sat silently observing and listening to the other men. They were joking and laughing about things and responding to questions thrown out by the leader of the group. The discussion that evening had been on 1 John 1 and they had come to verses 8 and 9 “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 

Towards the end of the meeting this man raised his hand and shared with the other men. He told them how he had watched and listened to them. How they seemed comfortable with each other and free to be themselves. He then told them how he did not have a desire to be where they were and that he would be satisfied just to get into heaven and sit in the back row.

He also shared he was somewhat hesitant in trying to develop the type of relationship that would be required to do verses 8 and 9 with another man.

In thinking about his response to what he saw and heard that evening I believe he has reached a point that many Christian men have. Many are settling for where they are now and satisfied with less than what Jesus promised in John 10: 10 “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

What keeps us men from developing close relationships with other men? The major reason is wounds from our past relationships. Let’s face it being a friend with another guy is messy. They let us down and they often operate out of their own wounds.

Why do we settle for where we are instead of pressing on to more life? The major reason we do this is because we have bought the lie that we are not worthy of fullness of life. Our culture is one of performance and the culture of Jesus is freedom. As men we have a hard time overcoming settling for just getting on the team.

I know where this man and some of you are coming from. I have been there. I still struggle with settling for isolation and a direct result is a life less complete. I encourage you to become a man wild at heart and break free from the isolation and incompleteness by risking becoming another man’s friend. It will be messy but in the end you will become a man who moves other men because you did not settle for less than fullness of life.