Welcome to REAL Men RoCK

This blog is about the issues men face and things I have experienced.

I hope you will be encouraged, challenged, and stirred to take action.

Proverbs 27:17 (The Message)

17 You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another

REAL Men RoCK

R
ighteous   E ncouraging   A ccountable   L oving 

Men 

R
ely on    C hrist's   K indness

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Why Men say, " I am Fine"

On Thursday evenings I meet with some other men to discuss life issues and seek solutions in the Bible.

Tonight we talked about the need of all men to be held accountable and why most do not seek it. I believe every man struggles with one of the following issues: lust, greed, power, pride, work, family, a wound or low self esteem. In my view being held accountable in one of these areas is needed in every man's life. Most men will not seek accountability for one of several reasons which I will discuss after I share the following story.

A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning Clyde.

"Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, I’m fine," asked the lawyer.

Clyde responded, "Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the…"

"I didn’t ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, I’m fine?"

Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road…"

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud! Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde’s answer and said to the lawyer, "I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie."

Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans."

"Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun in hand, looked at me, and said, How are you feeling? Now what would you say?"


I believe this story, which I found at http://comedyplus.blogspot.com/, describes very well why most men will not seek accountability even when they want it. Often in our churches, which should be the one place a sinner can find help, we find people who want to point to our sin making a big deal of it. What men need is a place where they can share what they are struggling with without more shame being added to what they are already experiencing. Men want honesty and directness but they do not want to be shamed. Another reason they do not seek accountability is often people place a label on them which brings discouragement. So this story points out how most men feel when they look across the room and often see a man confessing his sins only to be raked over the coals instead of being given the support and encouragement that he seeks.

Our Thursday evening group is based on REAL Men RoCK. Men are longing to know how to be Righteous, need Encouragement, want Accountability and desire to lean how to Love. They can only become those things by being Men who Rely on Christ's Kindness.

REAL Men RoCK is not about what I can do but how a group of men who have been changed by a relationship with Jesus can make a difference in the lives of other men. It is my honor to be an instrument that God uses to replay this message to men.

If you are a man who is looking for other men to come and stand by you as you battle your life issues then leave me a message. I can help you find men who will encourage you not shame you.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ohhh, so that's why men say I'm fine when it's obviously not...Hmmm...I wonder if I should be reading through this blog ;)

Keep up the good work in the King's service

Over the Road Coffee said...

Thank you for your comment. I encourage other readers to visit Caribben Shulamite's blog.

There are probably other reason's men do not seek accountability but from my own experiences and what I have witnessed is the church often shoots it's wounded instead of trying to heal them.

If a man is hurting the last hing he wants is for someone to pour the salt of shame on his wound instead of the soothing balm of God's love.

God's love convicts us of sin and that men will respond to but they react to the shame humans often put on them. There is a big difference between guilt and shame.

God wants us to feel guilt which leads to repentance. Satan wants us to feel shame which leads to hiding and bondage.

Gerry Hatrić said...

Great story and post!

Over the Road Coffee said...

Thank you for the comment and encouragement.