Welcome to REAL Men RoCK

This blog is about the issues men face and things I have experienced.

I hope you will be encouraged, challenged, and stirred to take action.

Proverbs 27:17 (The Message)

17 You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another

REAL Men RoCK

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ighteous   E ncouraging   A ccountable   L oving 

Men 

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ely on    C hrist's   K indness

Saturday, December 20, 2008

The darkness

With this post I am going to challenge you to do something very hard and that is to forgive. All of us have been hurt by someone else and some have been hurt to the point we still suffer from it today.

It might have been a dad who was never around, a mom who controlled you, a person who stole something from you or it could be God. Actually not really God but you have blamed God for something that has happened to you.

Whether you believe in God or not the truth is a lack of forgiveness will keep you from having fullness in your life. It will always keep you from enjoying your life fully. It will always keep you from taking the risk to truly love someone else.

It will always cause you to have the darkness of sadness in your life.

I am currently reading "The Shack" by Wm. Paul Young and I want to share a couple of paragraphs with you about the darkness.

"The darkness hides the true size of fears and lies and regrets," Jesus explained. "The truth is they are more shadow than reality, so they seem bigger in the dark. When the light shines into the places they live inside you, you start to see them for what they are."

"But why do we keep all that crap inside?" Mack asked.

"Because we believe it's safer there. And, sometimes, when you're a kid trying to survive, it really is safer there. Then you grow up on the outside, but on the inside you're still that kid in the dark cave surrounded by monsters, and out of habit you keep adding to your collection. We all collect things we value, you know?"

I know that I have had darkness in my life. For example, when I was 18 a man molested me and I held that darkness inside for years and allowed it to keep me from developing deep, meaningful friendships with other men. Once I began to allow the truth in I slowly began to allow other men into my life. My first true male friend was Tom, a quadriplegic which I find humorous when I look back on it because it was a fairly safe choice since he could not use his legs or arms. I did not experience release though from the darkness until I surrendered it to God and allowed the light to penetrate my hurt and wound.

Another example is I had lived for years with the darkness I caused my son when I rejected him. When I finally surrendered my pain I caused him and me to God I was able to accept the results of my actions. I am no longer controlled by the hurt of being rejected.

You might be suffering from a wound caused by a dad who said harsh words to you, or a mom who controlled your every move or a boyfriend who left you, or a guy who raped you, or maybe someone close to you died unexpectedly and you blame God. Each of these experiences are real and they cause real pain but you do not have to continue to suffer the hurt.

You can choose to stay in the pain and suffering or choose to move out of the control of darkness and allow the light of truth to shine into that area you protect. I am not smart enough to tell you how to achieve this but I can suggest several books that helped me.

Total Forgiveness by RT Kendall
The Shack by Wm. Paul Young
The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

These books will help you begin the process of forgiving the one who has wounded you. The finishing work though will be done by you surrendering your wound to God. He through His Holy Spirit will release the hold of the darkness on your life and allow you to truly live.

One final word, if you are angry with God for something that has happened to you I must tell you that you cannot forgive Him. Only He has the power to truly forgive. Even your forgiveness of someone else comes from surrendering your anger to God and He gives you the peace that results.

Today is the day to move forward beyond the chains of your wound and begin to truly live.



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