Welcome to REAL Men RoCK

This blog is about the issues men face and things I have experienced.

I hope you will be encouraged, challenged, and stirred to take action.

Proverbs 27:17 (The Message)

17 You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another

REAL Men RoCK

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ighteous   E ncouraging   A ccountable   L oving 

Men 

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ely on    C hrist's   K indness

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

What you hold onto keeps you captive.

For years I held onto and hid the pain of my mom leaving when I was young, the shame of having had and somewhat enjoying a same sex experience and that a man feels when going through a divorce.

I believe that holding onto these things and not sharing them with anyone kept me bound to feelings of abandonment, shame and worthlessness. When these feelings began to press in on me I escaped for a while into using pot but I did not like taking smoke into my lungs. Then I discovered the one thing that I could escape to that was fun, made me feel great and was something I could keep secret, pornography.

What is keeping you captive? Is it a drive for more material things? Is it a fear of failure? Is it wounds of childhood? Is it wrongs done to you by others? Is it a drug, alcohol or sex?

I do not believe it is wrong to pursue your dreams that result in more possessions if your motive is to bring glory to God through your accomplishments. I do not believe sex is wrong if it is within the boundaries of a marriage between a man and a woman. What is wrong is using anything but the love of God to medicate our feelings.

You can find freedom from your captivity. I believe you can find freedom by just following three simple but difficult steps. These steps came from a sermon, "Insiders Guide to Overcoming Failure" given Mark Warner at the Vineyard Church in Overland Park, KS (click the title of this post to go to Vineyard site).

Step 1 - Admit you have a problem.
For us men this step is probably the hardest to do. There are two individuals we must share the problem with. One already knows about it and the other we will have to find. God already knows about our problem and how we got there and if we will admit it to Him He will help us find the other person who we will share it with. God has made us for relationships but our experiences keep us from trusting others with our feelings and what we are going through. I heard it described best by a Quixtar speaker: "A man is like an M-1 tank. He is almost indestructible on the outside by very delicate on the inside". "If he opens the hatch to his inside and is betrayed he will batten-down the hatch and not allow another in".

I encourage you to share your problem with God and ask Him to guide you in finding another guy to develop a relationship with and when the time is right trust him with what your problem is. Now do the unthinkable admit you are powerless over your problem and ask God and your friend to hold you accountable to achieving victory over it.

Step 2 - Cry out ot God for healing for your wounds and deliverance from your problem.
James 5: 14-15 Are you hurting? Pray. Do you feel great? Sing. Are you sick? Call the church leaders together to pray and anoint you with oil in the name of the Master. Believing-prayer will heal you, and Jesus will put you on your feet. And if you've sinned, you'll be forgiven—healed inside and out.

Step 3 - Affirm God's kind intervention in your life.
Romans 2: 4 Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance? If you are facing a problem that just seems too large, if you are sick and tired of going through the same actions with no results and if you want more of the Holy Spirit moving through your life I encourage you to take the above three steps. Take the risk and see what God does in your life. There are men out there who God has shaped for service to men like us.

A great resource for protecting yourself from visiting inappropriate internet sites is Covenant Eyes (see link at right of page). If you need an accountability partner through CE then email me and we can make that happen.

I look forward to your comments.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey there!

I thought you might want to see the new Covenant Eyes video:

http://www.tangle.com/view_video.php?viewkey=8453b946b88adca7fac7

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ICTrHtUkx8

If you like it, please splash it up on your blog sometime and help us spread this important message all over the Internet! Thanks!

Luke Gilkerson
CovenantEyes.com/blog/

Over the Road Coffee said...

Thanks Luke.

Men are you struggling with the shame and the control of PORNOGRAPHY. If so click the Covenant Eyes banner located under my Visitor Counter. Join me in being FREE of the destructive power of PORN. You will be gald you did.